Which leads me to this post because that's how I'm going to write it--what I've experienced and observed. I'll start by mentioning the fact that a huge percentage of my friends growing up were boys. It wasn't that I was anything special. I just happened to have the single mom who worked and ended up with the "hang out" house. Adding to that, I was definitely "the friend". The boys I hung out with felt comfortable to be who they were and do what they want because it wasn't like anyone of them had a crush on me (except my now hubby but I didn't know that at the time, lol).
So, I've seen a heard a lot. And I don't pretend that the kind of boys I write are what ALL boys are like. That the things I'll say are true of ALL boys because that's obviously not true. Everyone is different. There are cocky boys like there are shy boys. There are the ones who hook up with tons of girls and those who are less experienced. Serious boys and not serious ones. In other words, they're human like the rest of us. LOL. So the following is not meant to be all boys. Just how I write MY boys.
It's no secret that most of my boys are sort of cocky. I do think there are different kinds of cocky though. Being honest, most of the boys I hung out with in school were cocky. Maybe it was just who I hung out with, or where I grew up or a million other different things, but that was my experience. In my opinion there is a different between Sebastian cockiness and Jaden or Carter cockiness (yes my boys will get referenced to a lot). Sebastian is just cocky. Now, I love this about him. Some people love it and some hate it, but it's who he is. It doesn't change how big his heart is though. It doesn't change his love for his friends. Jaden on the other hand, wants people to believe he's cocky to hide how badly he really feels about himself and poor Carter, I think he's a mixture. He wants it to be true and he wants his life to be the things it isn't. All of these boys have a level of cockiness to them, but IMO they're all great guys. The same way the boys I was friends with all had a level of cockiness to them, but they were also the guys I knew would have my back no matter what. I can pretend to understand what it's about--the fact that they WERE cocky or wanted people to believe they were--is it because society makes it so boys feel like they have to be strong and the best or confident? Is it because it's just one of those things that make up a guy's DNA and we'll never understand it? Is it something I made up in my head and the people I knew and the people I write are anomalies? I don't know. But that's been my experience. A lot of boys have a cocky edge to them, whether on the surface or who they really are, which again, doesn't IMO mean they are bad guys are not nice people with big hearts because they ARE. I try to add that into my boys. A certain level of cockiness, even if it's only in a playful manner.
LOL. This one kind of goes along with above. Whether it's part of this mask they feel they need to wear or part of who they are, the guys I knew WERE ALWAYS GIVING EACH OTHER AND ME CRAP. I can't tell you how many times they would give each other hell. Puff out their chests and talk about how "I could do it better" or "You wish you were as good as me" or "I'll kick your ass". Nine times out of ten it was laughed off and they'd go back and forth with each other. They teased each other and called each other names and they teased me, but I always knew it was for fun. That that was just how they worked and they also knew that about each other. I can't tell you the number of times, P and D (two of my old friends) would get in arguments with each other or how they'd talk crap to each other, but then if someone else did it? Someone who wasn't in our group of friends, it was a different story. They had each other's backs like nothing I've ever seen and I always knew the same about me. They would take care of me much the way Bastian and Jaden would do anything for Pris and Aspen. Or how Colt would be there for Adrian or Paul for Dylan. It was part of their relationship to "bag" on each other, but they were also 100% loyal. I remember once, one of the only times I really dated in school it was this guy from one town over. The boys teased me so much. Nyrae had a boyfriend! And that was embarrassing for me and I remember being so mad. But then I was hanging out with this guy and he tells me, "A guy would have to be stupid to mess with you. You have way too many guy friends who have your back," and just that easy I realized he was right. These boys may tease me buy I KNEW to the marrow of my bones that if this guy ever did anything to hurt me, he would have them to deal with. Just like I knew if someone went after "D" then "P" would always be in his corner too. I try to instill that kind of loyalty, but also..."realness" into the boys I write. They're not going to be sweet and fluffy and sugar and spice. That just isn't how the guys I like to write behave, but again, they have big hearts.
And I will go one step farther and say that in my experience, I think it was kind of a way for them to show affection too. More on affection and feelings later ;)
I have absolutely NO idea if anything that I'm saying is making sense. If I'm babbling or confusing. And I definitely do not want to sound like I'm trying to say all guys are this or that (can you tell I'm nervous about coming off that way?), but you asked for it, and this is my opinion.
I think I've rambled enough for now. I'll be back later in the week with part two. Let me know if you have any specific questions.