There has always been something different about Nyrae's Secret Project though. It's not that it's "better" than my other stuff or "more heartfelt" or "deeper" or anything like that. I look at FACADE, which all in all took me about five weeks for the first draft and I think it's probably the most from-the-heart book I've ever written. The one that gutted me the most and that I think came from a deeper place inside of me. Same thing as before. I don't think that means FACADE is "better" than Nyrae's Secret Project. Just different.
Anyway, I digress. Back to the secret book. I've been working on it for a long time. I've let it sit for months at a time. I've pulled my hair out. I've agonized over it and read passages and been like, "Damn! I can't believe I wrote that!" And I've also deleted a ton because it was just crap. I reworked it and added different scenes in and now I'm drawing to the end. FINALLY I'M MAKING IT TO THE END OF THIS BOOK. LOL. It's an amazing feeling.
But it's also scary too. You see, one of the things that makes Nyrae's Secret Project different from my other stuff is that it is MUCH more "coming-of-age" story than romance. That's not saying I don't think all my books are coming-of-age in one way or another. It's extremely important to me that my characters make huge amounts of growth and go through an emotional journey along with their romance, but Nyrae's Secret Project is different. There is a romance, but it's very slow-buring. It takes a backseat to what this girl went through and that's a little scary. How will readers react? Will they hate it? Love it? Wonder what the hell Nyrae was thinking? Am I doing this girl's story justice? All those are questions that plague me while I'm writing it (could be why it's taken so long).
But the thing is, even though it's giving me so much trouble, I HAVE to write it. I think her story needs to be told. This character has been through something huge. She's felt unloved. She's lost a lot and I'm honored to be able to help her find it again.
So that's Nyrae's little babble for today. If you're a writer, write the story that calls to you. Not what's popular. Not what's easy. Write what's yours.
Happy Presidents Day everyone!